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Literature Text
Come winter, I will leave this place
And turn away your amber fire.
Forget my touch, forget my face.
Your empty words have made me tired.
Come winter, I will travel north.
Let snow kiss my feet in silence.
I've lost my love for green and earth.
I've lost the taste for love and violence.
Come winter, I shall want to freeze.
I have been cold, not yet unfeeling.
And I'll forget... don't mourn me, please.
It won't be me the one you're grieving.
Come winter, I'll forsake my name.
I want no home, no soul, no pity.
Let people burn for smiles and fame,
I have no heart left for this city.
Come winter, there's no looking back.
The ice will shield my heart from ardor.
The pure white snow marks my track.
I'm sick of trying to try harder.
Come winter, do not search for me.
You too, I want to leave behind.
I've made my mind on what to be
And wonder how I was so blind.
Literature
Things they don't tell you.
Things they don’t tell you about losing your grandfather on a Tuesday night:
When you wake the next morning, you still
need to get out of bed in time for work, you still
have to shower, dress yourself, eat breakfast, brush
your teeth and hair;
and when your mother calls
to check in, you have to comfort her because she lost
her dad last night;
and when you call your grandmother
your voice cannot waver lest you upset her, because
she lost a man she's known for seventy years and even
though she would never hold it against you, you still
feel obligated not to cry;
Literature
Last Call for Tanner Lee
Tanner left the hospital feeling strangely empty. He had expected agony. From the moment he had heard the Code Blue declared over the intercom and been forced out of Leah’s room (Room 318; he would never forget that number, or the feel of the sheets beneath his hands), he had known his life was coming to an end. They did not give up, and he gave them credit for that, but there is only so much time and effort a doctor can put into saving someone who is determined to die, and twelve hours later, Tanner and the bag of Leah’s effects sat in the back of a cab, on their way home. He would have to plan a funeral. Of course she had no lif
Literature
I'll Wait by the Water
This is the place where our memories began.
A creek at the bottom of a canyon,
red cliffs on either side and a giant
pond dam to the north that wildflowers grow on.
Paths that we created through the woods
and up and down those copper canyon walls
while we pretended to be wild Injuns
or wanted outlaws being hunted by a posse.
You were on your knees,
in the middle of the creek,
when I found you.
A neighbor girl, trespassing.
I had a mind to chase you off
until I asked what you were doing.
You looked at me, smiled, and said,
"Catching crawdads. Come help!"
After that day, we spent Springs and Summers
building fort walls and chasing frogs,
s
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So, this is interesting. I am not sure where it came from, but there is certainly some inspiration from Andersen's "The Snow Queen", mostly for the heroine.
There is a story here and it's not a happy one... I wonder what story do you see?
I hope you enjoy this! And remember, feedback is a girl's best friend.
There is a story here and it's not a happy one... I wonder what story do you see?
I hope you enjoy this! And remember, feedback is a girl's best friend.
Comments15
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Hello, I am from 
with my critique on this piece.
First... I loved it. The form was simple but with the maintained meter, it worked wonderfully. the words just flowed from the tongue. A wonderful composition indeed.
Then the expressions used and the meaning implied was easy to see yet was wonderfully worded. You have also left roles and characters unclear and have left it to the reader to decide what meaning it may hold. So there is little else I will say about the work; it is well written in terms of expressions and meter plus rhyme.
Now coming to the "story" I see. What I see is a protagonist which can either be a girl or boy; if gender was specified, I missed it. So, the protagonist is asking for winter to come and wither their soul away. They want to be cold, to be left alone, to die alone with not even winter itself by their side. The "you" mentioned in the poem is the lover of the protagonist or perhaps someone they felt really close to but have now been tired of empty promises, they finally realize that they don't really matter to the other person. So the work revolves with asking winter to come and... well in short take their life.
While the expressions were well written, I will be a bit nitpicky since I feel that this work is quite amazing. The "violence" that you have mentioned, though it matches the rhyme, does not feel the best word out there. It might hint towards a male warrior (or since warriors have lost gender, it may be a girl as well) but that would be too vague.
Then the second last stanza's last two lines do not match. They feel like totally different thoughts that should not be placed together as they have without anything linking them. It is like saying "Hello how are you? I hate potatoes."
Finally, the last stanza... the thought is wonderful but I think that here the word usage can be greatly improved. Perhaps others may enjoy the expression of "Come winter do not search for me" but for me it is like asking for something and then telling it to not search for you. Now, I do realize that the "come Winter" does not have to be taken literally as calling winter (or at least not being so abrupt about it) but that is a strange expression. BUT... the expression might work, it does make sort of "poetical" sense. But the rest about leaving it behind did not match it. Telling someone not to search for them should then be followed by saying that I shall find you or that we are destined to meet. Not telling them I want to leave you, so come, do not search for me. I mean it just... registered a bit strangely. Also, the last line... though a fine rhyme, does leave me a bit inclined to ask if the word "blind" was used with the sentence, only to rhyme? In simpler words, that is not the best ending I would expect of such a work.
Okay... the critique has been too long. Hopefully it will be helpful. I did enjoy it a lot and hope that you are able to improve it! Keep writing!
with my critique on this piece.First... I loved it. The form was simple but with the maintained meter, it worked wonderfully. the words just flowed from the tongue. A wonderful composition indeed.
Then the expressions used and the meaning implied was easy to see yet was wonderfully worded. You have also left roles and characters unclear and have left it to the reader to decide what meaning it may hold. So there is little else I will say about the work; it is well written in terms of expressions and meter plus rhyme.
Now coming to the "story" I see. What I see is a protagonist which can either be a girl or boy; if gender was specified, I missed it. So, the protagonist is asking for winter to come and wither their soul away. They want to be cold, to be left alone, to die alone with not even winter itself by their side. The "you" mentioned in the poem is the lover of the protagonist or perhaps someone they felt really close to but have now been tired of empty promises, they finally realize that they don't really matter to the other person. So the work revolves with asking winter to come and... well in short take their life.
While the expressions were well written, I will be a bit nitpicky since I feel that this work is quite amazing. The "violence" that you have mentioned, though it matches the rhyme, does not feel the best word out there. It might hint towards a male warrior (or since warriors have lost gender, it may be a girl as well) but that would be too vague.
Then the second last stanza's last two lines do not match. They feel like totally different thoughts that should not be placed together as they have without anything linking them. It is like saying "Hello how are you? I hate potatoes."
Finally, the last stanza... the thought is wonderful but I think that here the word usage can be greatly improved. Perhaps others may enjoy the expression of "Come winter do not search for me" but for me it is like asking for something and then telling it to not search for you. Now, I do realize that the "come Winter" does not have to be taken literally as calling winter (or at least not being so abrupt about it) but that is a strange expression. BUT... the expression might work, it does make sort of "poetical" sense. But the rest about leaving it behind did not match it. Telling someone not to search for them should then be followed by saying that I shall find you or that we are destined to meet. Not telling them I want to leave you, so come, do not search for me. I mean it just... registered a bit strangely. Also, the last line... though a fine rhyme, does leave me a bit inclined to ask if the word "blind" was used with the sentence, only to rhyme? In simpler words, that is not the best ending I would expect of such a work.
Okay... the critique has been too long. Hopefully it will be helpful. I did enjoy it a lot and hope that you are able to improve it! Keep writing!